It's 2020 and we are still facing many taboos when it comes to sex, especially in the butt department. Lots of people still feel ashamed and/or afraid to talk about many topics related to anal sex, and prostate stimulation is one of the top ones. There is a lack of knowledge on how does it feel, how to do it, and for who is it. This guide is just for that: break a little bit of this taboo and introduce you to the wonders of prostate play.
One thing to remember is that exploring prostate play has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. Prostate stimulation, and anal play, can give you amazing orgasms, filled with unexpected and wonderful sensations.
In this blog, you'll learn:
What is the prostate and how do I stimulate it?
The prostate is a gland that only cisgender men and people assigned male at birth have. It produces the seminal fluid found in ejaculate. The prostate, also known as the P-Spot, is full of nerve endings that can provide intense pleasure when stimulate. This gland is located about 3-4 inches inside the rectum, just under the bladder.
Much like the G-Spot, the P-spot once stimulated can make you – or your partner – curl your toes. You can stimulate the prostate through anal sex, or indirectly through the perineum. But how are you supposed to find this gland if you have never seen or felt it? Many people describe the prostate as feeling a bit like a walnut. Its texture is different from its surroundings. The more turned on you are, the easier it will be to find your prostate, as the gland swell when you're aroused.
A prostate orgasm requires practice and patience, but once you get a hold on it would be easy to replicate. Every body is different, so some experimenting is in order until you know how to have a P-spot orgasm. But what does a prostate orgasm feels like? People can experience it in different ways, being similar to a penile orgasm all to way to an intense orgasm felt all over your body. Not everyone ejaculates during a prostate orgasm, but some release a dribble of milky fluid from the urethra
A great way to start this journey is through prostate massage using your fingers. But concentrate on giving your partner pleasure, rather than seeking for the P-Spot.
How to prepare for prostate play?
A little bit of preparation will ensure you have the best time, whether you're flying solo or with a partner. The way you should prepare your body to start your prostate play depends on if you are the giver or the receiver.
If you're the receiving partner
You want to be as aroused and relaxed as possible, because it will make the experience much more pleasurable. Be sure to set up the mood and even engage in some masturbation or foreplay. A good thing to remember is that you have the control to go slower or faster here. Don't worry about going all the way on the first try.
A lot of people feel anxious about poop-coming-out-of-the-butt, but emptying your bowels on the same day and giving some extra attention back there would be enough. However, if there is still a concern about this you can use an anal douche prior.
You also want to make sure you have plenty of lubricant. Remember there is no such thing as too much lube. The best thing is to apply lubricant around and inside the anus. You can use this moment to massage the anus and loosen up and get used to the feeling.
If you're exploring your P-spot alone, a good idea is to use a toy designed for prostate stimulation. It might be hard to reach and explore the area with your fingers, and the toy come in handy.
The Backdoor Rabbit, for example, is a great toy to stimulate the prostate and the perineum at the same time.
If you're the giving partner
Don't get overexcited yourself, it's not about you, it's about your partner. You also need to do some prep to make sure everything goes well. One simple thing, but very important, is making sure your nails are trimmed and you're not wearing any jewelry like rings. The lining of the anus is delicate and susceptible to injury, and hurting your partner or causing discomfort is a no-go.
If you're fingering your partner, you also want to make sure you don't have any scratches or cuts in your fingers. All sex involves a transfer of bacteria, and this is even more likely with anal play. Another option here is creating a barrier between your fingers and your partner’s anus by using condoms, a finger cot, or gloves. They are great options if any of you is anxious about cleanliness too.
Another great reason to use gloves is that helps with the lubricant. You will need long-lasting lubes for anal play, and it can absorb into your skin as you play, which means you will have to stop to apply more lube. The latex from a glove or condom provides a non-porous layer for the lube to sit on, which will lead to less absorption, and a longer-lasting slippery sensation.
What about prostate milking?
When people use the term prostate milking they are referring to massaging the prostate for sexual pleasure. You would keep on this message until fluid comes out of the prostate. This fluid, officially called prostatic fluid, is a milky fluid, which basically is ejaculate without the sperm.
When you see some milk keep doing whatever it is you're doing because you're getting close. Some people also enjoy masturbating their penises at the same time. This can take you to another level of pleasure and make you orgasm faster.
Techniques to try
Before trying to reach for the prostate, find a comfortable position for you and your partner. Make sure that it will offer easy access to the anus and preferably a couple of other erogenous zones. If you don’t know a good position, a popular one includes the receiver lying on their back with legs apart or on their stomach with a pillow under their hips, or on all fours.
Here are some techniques to try, whether you’re using fingers or a sex toy.
- Apply different pressures to the prostate (internally or externally) using a finger or a toy. You can use more or less pressure until you find your sweet spot. You can also hold the pressure for short or long periods of time.
- Rotate your finger around the entire prostate, changing the pressure and speed as you complete the circle.
- Move your finger as fast as you can on a specific movement, like side to side or up and down. This is a great way to imitate the use of a vibrator.
- Stimulate the prostate internally and externally. You have use a toy, or both hands, to stimulate the P-spot anally while massaging the perineum.
The bottom line is that prostate stimulation is not for everyone, but if you're willing to try, the payoff can be just amazing.